PROLEGOMENON
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Vorpo Linux is a Linux distribution the way a book is a friend.
Hold her by the spine and the world learns your favorite parts, live your life by her and you'll end up with a divorce.
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As a firewall, Vorpo is as reliable as gasoline.
As a server, Vorpo's whims are more independant than a Parisian waiter.
She has worse ping than global warming.
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But,
by God,
if you want every day to be Christmas, you will want Vorpo like a rusty dishwasher moaning sharp on a Tuesday night.
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